I did something bad. It’s a little embarrassing but since we’re friends now, I’ll tell you. I pooped on the living room rug last night. In my defense, I barked to wake Food Lady so she could let me out, but she yelled “Cooper, go back to bed!” which I tried to do until I just couldn’t hold it anymore. Since she had gone back to sleep, I had no choice but to do the deed inside. Shuffles was NOT happy when he saw what I did. I may have lost my newly minted status of Good Addition to the Family. I even overheard him tell Food Lady I might have to go back to sleeping in the crate. The CRATE! I just got out of that cage a few weeks ago. 

You see, I’m not quite two years old so I’m still a puppy. My humans say I’m getting better – I’m almost-a-dog now. With being almost-a-dog, I have recently earned more of what my humans call independence. I used to have to go in the crate whenever my humans left the house and when they slept at night. Now, if you’re not familiar with a crate, let me just tell you, crate is a fancy word for dog jail. It’s this small box that you can barely stand in with a cage door that they lock so you can’t get out! Do you know what a dog does in there for hours on end? Nothing. There is absolutely nothing to do but sit and wait and nap the time away. 

I admit, when my humans first gave me independence, I rebelled a bit when they weren’t around. I would rip up toilet paper and empty out the bathroom trash can. Once I even got ahold of Shuffles’ sunglasses and gave them a nice chew. After that, I heard Shuffles and Food Lady talking about how maybe they can’t trust me alone yet. No, I thought! They are going to send me back to the crate! I vowed I would be extra good the next time they went out. I still mess up a little from time to time – after all, I am still technically a puppy – but Shuffles and Food Lady have been much impressed with my performance lately. The dreaded crate word hasn’t come up – until this morning. 

Now I might have to go back to dog jail tonight – all because Food Lady mistook my bark for wanting to play, not needing to go out. Life would be so much easier if my humans spoke Dog.